My Children. My Opinions. My Tales.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Ramblings of numbness

I don't know really what to write, it has been really hard lately and I don't want to dwell on my pain...but at the same time it is therapeutic for me to get things off my chest.

I thought I would be able to pass the baby naturally, but given the 2 weeks ahead of me...I was filled with so much pain and fear. I decided to get a D & E done. The D & E or Dilation and Evacuation, is a surgical procedure that removes the baby and cleans the uterus out. It is a short process that has started to help me heal physically so I can work more on my mental state.

After the procedure, I literally feel like a mac truck has run over me, but other than that I almost feel relieved that I don't have to sit and wait. The anticipation of miscarrying was probably worse than the event...at least for me.

So far, each day has been different...I certainly have my moments - like when the nurse from my eye doctor called to confirm my appointment this week. Nothing like a girl sobbing on the other line.

And sweet moments when Jelly talks to, ehem - bosses, her "little sister" in which she has now named "Bella."

Today I just feel numb. Each day will be different, but each day I will thank God for the 8 weeks he gave me with my little angel...

1 comment:

Stepherz said...

Hi Carey,

I can relate to your decision to have the d&c. It does help you to be able to move past the physical and into the emotional healing. A d&c is hard on the body, but so is the miscarriage process. Best wishes to you! Every day will get better.

My d&c is scheduled for Monday. My pre-op was yesterday and I am feeling some relief knowing that this will be over soon...