I don't know really what to write, it has been really hard lately and I don't want to dwell on my pain...but at the same time it is therapeutic for me to get things off my chest.
I thought I would be able to pass the baby naturally, but given the 2 weeks ahead of me...I was filled with so much pain and fear. I decided to get a D & E done. The D & E or Dilation and Evacuation, is a surgical procedure that removes the baby and cleans the uterus out. It is a short process that has started to help me heal physically so I can work more on my mental state.
After the procedure, I literally feel like a mac truck has run over me, but other than that I almost feel relieved that I don't have to sit and wait. The anticipation of miscarrying was probably worse than the event...at least for me.
So far, each day has been different...I certainly have my moments - like when the nurse from my eye doctor called to confirm my appointment this week. Nothing like a girl sobbing on the other line.
And sweet moments when Jelly talks to, ehem - bosses, her "little sister" in which she has now named "Bella."
Today I just feel numb. Each day will be different, but each day I will thank God for the 8 weeks he gave me with my little angel...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Ramblings of numbness
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1 comment:
Hi Carey,
I can relate to your decision to have the d&c. It does help you to be able to move past the physical and into the emotional healing. A d&c is hard on the body, but so is the miscarriage process. Best wishes to you! Every day will get better.
My d&c is scheduled for Monday. My pre-op was yesterday and I am feeling some relief knowing that this will be over soon...
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