Famous Last words...

Yes, I have been MIA.

Stuck in a whirlwind of playing catch-up of all my household duties and working 60+ hours a week. I am pooped!

I am hoping to continue blogging, because this has been a blast for me. But I can't even seem to keep up with my dishes...

Anyways, here is a little Jelly bean fix:

"Mommy, who made all this stuff?" she asked.

I said, "Well, I guess God did."

She asked, "Why?"

I said, "Honey?" looking at her daddy.

You see, he loves these questions...me, I would rather stick to the basics like - "Mommy, milk comes out of cow's butts." "No sweetie, milk comes from a cow's utters." "What are utters?"

On second thought...maybe not!

My feet are broken

When you become a senior citizen your begin to lose mobility, heck, I think at 30 it starts to go! But, at the fine age of 3?

Temper tantrums is what I am used to...but when my little Jelly Bean doesn't want to do something, she doesn't always throw a temper tantrum. Oh No. "I can't walk." "My feet are broken." and one that her friend has used, "My feet are broken they need batteries." Which you really have to love the creativity they come up with.

Some days I wish I could say, "I am sorry, but my feet are broken, they need new batteries." Just to catch a break!

Chatty Bean

Have you ever really listened to a 3-year-old talk?

Jelly Bean loves to talk...friends are amazed while on the phone..."Does she ever stop?" is usually the question I get...which, I hope doesn't mean they are annoyed...but hey she is 3!

But of course when friends visit...you would think an alien would have come down and snatched her little tongue because she is that quiet! But then again...she is cautious of her surroundings and she is 3!

Today after dinner I was talking to Jelly Bean and sometimes I have to work very hard at not laughing, because she is dead-serious in conversation...

"Mommy, my tummy is full. That is why I can't eat anymore. I eat cheese, potatoes and bread and they make me feel better. But I cough and get sick when I eat too much. That is why my tummy is full."

Makes perfect sense...to a 3 year old!

40 years for a perfect apple pie

Tomorrow is "Jelly-Bean and Daddy" day...as I venture off with some friends for a little "me-time." They have big plans, ones that JB helped pick out. They are going to make an apple pie (hubby is a pretty good cook/baker) and they are going to try to go down to this lake nearby and feed the ducks and geese (that should be interesting considering hubby hates geese).

On the way home today, I asked JB if she was excited about making an apple pie with daddy, this is how the conversation went...

JB -"I like apple pie mommy, we made one today."
"You did? Did you eat it?"
JB -"No, we threw it in the trash."
"And you didn't bring me a piece?"
JB -"Yes, here." (pretending to hand me a piece of pie) "Eat it."
"mmmm. very good."
JB -"yup."
"How long did it take to cook the pie?"
JB -"Yours took 40 years. Mine didn't take that long. Just, um, 2 years."
"Wow, that must have been some hard work."
JB -"Yes."

I have a feeling they will be pretty busy tomorrow. Masterpieces take years to make!

Conversations with my three year old:

"Your my sweet little girl."
"No mommy, I your sweet little BIG girl."

"Daddy Rocks!"
"What about mommy?"
"Mommy Bites!"

"Tobee doesn't listen. We need a new cat."
"But other cats don't listen."
"...We need a dog!"

Yelling from bed, "I am going to sleep mommy, all by myself!"

Isn't three the best age?

She is the lollipop kid

I really wish I could blame the weather...or even the fact that it is tv season finale time...but nope, it is just that piece-o-crap-computer-trouble-thing! I hope to have my issues resolved by this weekend.

In the meantime...Jelly was telling me about her day today, she was visiting Preschool again...and in our day care, they provide sheets letting us know how our kids do on the potty all day. When I asked her how she did on the potty, she jumped up and down and said, "I stay dry mommy! I stay dry!" However, her sheet did not agree...don't get me wrong, cause she did in fact pee on the potty all day, but her pull-ups were wet too. And the deal was that Jelly needed to stay dry all day and use the potty for a special treat at the end of the day...And yes, our latest bribe is a lollipop.

"I want my lollipop."
"I am sorry sweetie, but you didn't stay dry all day."
"Yes I did."
"That is not what your potty sheet says."
"YES I DID!"
"I know you tried honey, but you can try again tomorrow."
"YES I DID! I want my lollipop."
"Look a choo choo train!"

There was no winning this thing, so the first thing that came to mind -Redirect (Thanks Shawn!). I had to turn her attention to something else, and for the time being...it worked! But as all the books say, you can't rationalize with a 3 year old...and gosh darn it, they are right!

Happy Weekend!

Split personality?

Yes. No. Yes! NO! Ok, all of you parents out there, young and old, must be or maybe will, or already have..experienced your toddler going through split personalities. That is right, split personalities. And here you thought you were only dealing with one.

HA! My soon-to-be 3 year old has it...and let me tell ya...it is a delight.

In the car we have a dvd player (yes, I am one of thoooose parents), and I turned it on the other day..."NO! I don wann it on!" Ok, so I turned it off, crying, "I wan it on, mommy!" Yes or no?

In the bathroom, "Do you want to go pee pee on the potty?" "NO!" "Ok, let's change your diaper." "No mommy, I wan to go pee pee on the potty!" Yes or no?

At dinner, "Are you done eating?" (As she flings macaroni across the table) "Yes!" (As I take her plate.) "No mommy, I am not finished!"

If only they had a magic 8 ball to help them decide...Maybe, Ask me later, or Outlook not so good...

But then again she is a girl, and we all know that us girls are entitled to change our minds as much as we wish...No, on second thought, she is doing it to drive her parents insane.

Our little lady...

"Mommy, I farted."
"You did?"
"Yes, come here mommy."
"That's ok honey."
"Come here mommy, I want you to smell it!"


Yes that is our little lady.

Pink is my signature color.

I have always wondered what caused the gender distinction between boys and girls…and I don’t mean the obvious. I am talking about boys liking to play with cars and girls liking to play with dolls but also boys preferring blue and girls preferring pink. Is it the colors we present in their rooms or in their clothing? Is it that we buy them gender-specific toys?

I have an older brother and my mom thought it was a good idea to expose us both to dolls and trucks. Our rooms, however, did fall into gender-specific colors…His was red, white and blue with sports emblems and mine yellow and white check.

I loved to play with match box cars and transformers…in fact I used to love going next door to my twin boy friends house and play GI Joe. If I played with Barbie, she normally ended up in the mud in the back yard. Yes, I was a little bit of a tom-boy.

And while I try not to be gender-specific with my daughter, she is a little “princess” opposite of my tom-boy youth. She loves playing “Mommy” at day care (this typically takes place in the kitchen…obviously where I spend so much time.) She also plays mommy with her baby dolls (Twin baby brothers). But I guess to keep me on my toes, she does occasionally like to play with her trucks and cars too.

But don’t be mistaken, she is very clear about who she is. While drawing with chalk at day care she proudly stated…

“Look! It’s blue and pink. I like pink because I am a girl and girls like pink.”

No doubt that pink is her signature color!

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No butts about it -- you stinky!

Hubby was in charge for one day last weekend, Jelly bean and Tobee are doing ok, but slowly the truth unravels...

Hubby: "Jelly be careful, remember how you fell down the steps last night."
Jelly: "Yes."
In shock - Me: "Wait, she what?"
Hubby: "Not the whole way down just a couple...she's ok."

Ah yes, silly me, it was only a couple!

Me: "Did you have fun with Daddy yesterday?"
Jelly: "Yes."
Me: "What did you do?"
Jelly: "We watch TV and played."

Harmless...

Almost a week later, Jelly and I are at a restaurant...
Jelly: "Mommy, do you want to smell my butt?"
Me: "What?"
Jelly: "Do you want to smell my butt?"

Have you ever had the feeling someone was standing behind you when your child repeated something you asked them to and then realized you wish you hadn't. Yeah, well our waitress was standing right there behind me...

With an embarassed grin I turned around...
Me: "Hi."
Waitress: "Will that be everything."
Me: "Yes, just the check please."

It didn't take long to put the pieces together, Jelly sounded like a Ren and Stimpy video. I believe the episode was "Stimpy's First Fart." Ah yes, and now it makes all kinds of sense!



In all seriousness, it was a good bonding day for them, and a break for me...I really can't complain.

;0)

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The circle of life

Do you remember that movie Multiplicity? You know with Michael Keaton...where he clones himself so that he can accomplish everything he needs to? Have you figured out where I am going with this?

Jelly bean has decided that only Mommy can do it. In the morning Hubby goes in to get Jelly up...NO, mommy do it!

Hubby takes Jelly to the bathroom...NO, mommy do it!

Hubby talks to Jelly...NO, mommy talks to me!

I literally need 10 clones of myself to get myself ready and Jelly ready in the morning.

So, where is the Super Nanny when you need her?

I pick Jelly up at day care and she ignores me...long gone the days when her eyes lit up and she ran yelling "Mommy!" It now takes us 20-30 minutes to leave. I have even tried bribes...but she doesn't want to leave. I started to grow concerned until I realized, in the morning she doesn't want to go to school. Nothing against home or school, she is just trying to be an independent 2 year old.

Hubby and I talked about it, and both of us thought "were we like that?"

No, not us...ehem, until I chatted with my mom one day. Laughing she said, "Yes, that is exactly how you were."

Ahhh, yes, the circle of life...

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Truthiness of a toddler

The truthiness (I have been dying to use that word) about toddlers is, they tell the truth. They don't mean to hurt feelings and be mean, they just say it how it is...

I was putting Jelly bean in her car seat the other day after work and she saw a broach on my coat that Hubby bought me...

Jelly bean "What's that mommy?"

Me "A Broach"

Jelly bean "That is pretty, I want it."

Me "Thank you Jelly, that is sweet."

Jelly bean "You're welcome mommy."

Me "Are you sweet talk'n me?

Jelly bean "Yes!"

I giggled and gave her a kiss and she looked at me serious...

Jelly bean "I want my snack now."


Truth be told, she meant business!

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My girl

One thing about having a girl, I always expected her to be Daddy's girl from the start...but not my Jelly bean. She is definitely my girl. (Sorry honey!) She loves to being with me, she asks me to kiss her boo boos and before bedtime you'll usually find us snuggling on the couch while watching Elmo.

Now, she also has my personality...so we do butt heads more times than not...but there is just something so special about our bond...one that I thought I would only long for, unless we had a boy.

I am so grateful for my little girl.

For the first time this weekend she walked up to me and out of the blue said, "Mommy, I love you."

It is moments like this that make being a parent -- wonderful.

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We don't use those words

My little Jelly Bean was reading a Christmas book on the potty the other day...while I was checking email. And all the sudden...from the bathroom I hear,

"Mommy, you suck!"
I stopped typing...what did I hear? No that isn't possible...I thought.
"Mommmmmyyyy, you suck!"
"Oh no, we don't use those words." as I approached her.
Whispering now, "Mommy you suck."
"Honey, we don't use those words."
"Mommy (pause) you suck."
As I looked down, I realized that she was pointing in her book at a sock, hanging on the fireplace mantel.
"Mommy, you suck."

Embarrassed I replied, "Oh, you mean, 'Mommy, your sock.' Yes honey, my sock."

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My child has been infected by the "Why?" virus...

It has happened, it has finally happened, the dreaded three letter word has surfaced. It is the word that no matter how you explain it, they still ask it.

Symptom Checker: Here is an example conversation about the sky..."Mommy, what's that?" "It's the sky." "Why?" "Because that is what it is called." "Why?" "Because some astrologist named it that." "Why?" "Oh, look it is the kitty." "Why?" "Hi, kitty." "Why is he a kitty?" "Because God made him a kitty." "Why?" "Because he is a kitty." "Why?" "Are you asking to know or just to say why?" "Heehee, Why?"

Beware of other 2-year-olds exhibiting the behavior of the "Why?" syndrome, get them treated immediately by Googling the answers to all their questions. Do not be discouraged, they will continue to ask why, until it is no longer a thrill. And remember to answer wisely, as they are little sponges soaking up every bit of information that they can get their hands on...Listen up people, these toddlers are our future doctors, lawyers and actors...this must be treated very seriously.

In the mind of a two year old

Our daughter is in the middle of a "language explosion." Yes an explosion. You see, she just moved into a classroom at daycare with older toddlers (2-3 year olds). And within the past two weeks our child's language development has gone from what I call the one-year-old plateau to two-year-old chatterbox. It is amazing to watch and listen to everything...it really is new and refreshing. I have to admit, I haven't had this much entertainment in a long time.

This morning she ran into the kitchen and said, "Mama, I want purple milk." Purple milk? Where did this come from? And an even better question posed by my hubby, "Why doesn't someone make purple milk?" (Kids love all kinds of wacky stuff. Just a thought.)

The other day my hubby was lying on the floor reading a magazine and my Jelly-bean ran over and yelled, "Wake up Honey!" Honey? My husband and I couldn't stop laughing. Well, of course in time for the next one.

On the way to work today (we carpool), she asked my hubby, "What is that?" my husband said, "That is a cell phone tower." then my daughter yelled, "Mama look, it is a cell phone tower!" I guess she figured I wasn't listening to the conversation.

But my absolute favorite, as we are driving down the road we smell skunk…and out of the back seat yells, “Daddy! Your butt stinks!” Talk about uncontrollable laughing!

Toddler-speak?

I recently added a list of Favorite Blog links on the right-hand side. I am going to add some of my favorite parenting blogs that are on the world wide web...so make sure you check them out. Notes from the Trenches is very clever. The last couple posts that I have read have been quite humorous, I especially like the one about "papal juice."

There is nothing like trying to translate toddler-speak! Here are some of my daughter's...

1. Dit = Dance (Dit Mommy, Dit Daddy!)
2. Tawberry = Strawberry (Tawberry milk peese)
3. Peese = Please (See above)
4. Tire Fruck = Fire Truck (Isn't the same when you read it!)

Some times you ask them to repeat what they say and they look at you like duh, "I just told you!" My translating is getting better...at least I keep telling myself that!